Prague

I have the incredible good fortune to be jetting off to Prague for work in two weeks. One never “goes” to Prague, mind you, nor does one merely “fly” there either. Around here, we jet. And I’m sure you do, too, you fabulous minx you.

When last I was in Prague, I was doing the post-college backpack through Europe thing with a very dear friend. We spent our days eating baguettes, drinking cheap beer, and while in Vienna, we inexplicably purchased one very, very expensive slice of cake. It’s amazing what you prioritize when you are recently educated and yet have absolutely no common sense, nor financial means. Bring on the fancy cake! Which, actually, should just be a life strategy, expense notwithstanding. When do you not want the fancy cake? Am I right? I’m right.

Due to the aforementioned cake eating and no common sense having, I’m quite sure there is a large portion of Prague that I missed the first time ’round. And aside from working and making time for dinner at the best vegetarian restaurant in the world (in.the.world. you guys!), I do not yet have many plans in Prague.

Would you like to recommend some for me? Something you’ve stumbled on while jetting around the Internet, or perhaps, whilst jetting to actual Prague itself?

You know you do, you fabulous minx you.

 

Peonies and Compromise

Thinking pink today. Is any phrase as cliche and overused as “think pink” in the history of…well, anything? I think not. But whenever I think pink, I think of Funny Face and of Kay Thompson as magazine editor Maggie Prescott, swanning around the Quality magazine offices, demanding that everyone should think pink. These days, she’d probably have to politely suggest (lest she be considered in the least bit aggressive or mean) that we all consider a non-offensive yellow. Yawn.

Now that I am cohabiting with a man, I have to tone down my deep love for all things girly and anything and everything pink. Also trying to resist the desire to decorate my entire apartment in shades of white and more white, with a subtle hint of white, and then adding in more pink. Men, as it turns out, like for things to be functional, stain resistant, and, when possible, covered in or at least adjacent to dark leather. If only there were a manual.

This being the case, lately I’ve simply adorned myself all in pink: once for a black tie event, and then the following day, as I was recovering from said event. A hot pink t-shirt goes right nicely with a hangover. I’ve also covered the domicile in hot pink peonies, much to the dismay of the jury.

Man verdict: These smell weird.

Lady verdict: But they look so pretty!

Outcome: Tied, as per usual. And that’s what we call compromise!

Last week was a terrible one. I don’t mind saying it, because, hey – I CAN. It involved a confrontation (something at which I do not excel), a con artist, and making a police report in formalwear and what was essentially a make-up job just shy of drag queen status. I’m not knocking drag queens. We could all learn a lot from drag queens. Especially when it comes to eyeliner. But it probably didn’t help my case in the moment.

The whole thing will become, I’m very sure, a funny story someday. But I’m still too mad to find the funny. And so, instead, I have found fresh flowers, strong coffee in a big white mug, and lots of quiet time to write and contemplate. I’m taking these tiny talismans as a slight offering from the universe. If not quite an apology, then at the very least, an almost-decent compromise.

Homemade Barbecue Sauce

There are few things more pleasurable in life than something homemade that you usually buy. Actually, I take that back. I don’t take any pleasure in homemade sweaters or knitted underwear because 1) that’s strange, and 2) because I am craft-challenged. But homemade food, of nearly any kind, can beat the pants off what you can find in stores. Case in point: homemade barbecue sauce.

Barbecue sauce in a plastic bottle can taste sugary, overly tomatoey, or – worst – have that false smoke flavor, which you can both taste and read, because on the label, it says “smoke flavor.” True fact.

And let’s discuss that, shall we? What is “smoke flavor” exactly? Are the elves employed by the almost-certainly evil dictator known as KC Masterpiece just out there in the forest, bottling up the smoke that swirls into the sky from the fires of lumberjacks and mystical creatures trying to stay warm in the woods and stay alive until they can get to District 13? Is that where it comes from? Maybe? Probably? Mystery solved? Question mark?

The smoke that you get from homemade barbecue sauce comes from a much more secure source: chiles in adobo. The chiles, combined with brown sugar, bourbon, and a host of flavorings team up together to sucker punch you in the mouth. In a good way. If you’re into that sort of thing. If you aren’t into that, then you should probably mosey along to another recipe. Have you heard of these cookies? A culinary gentle caress, they are. They might be more your style.

This sauce needs a few weeks to mellow out, so I’d recommend making it well in advance of whatever you are cooking and just let it chill in the fridge. We had it last night over pulled pork sandwiches and after hanging out for three weeks in the fridge it was less a sucker punch and more a soft palate square dance. Which, if you’re into that kind of thing, was pretty dang tasty. True fact.

We used this recipe, and while it was okay, I’d go with a better tested, better balanced recipe next time. It basically gives you ingredients and then tells you that you’re going to have to modify quite a bit. Hm. At any rate, we did modify quite a bit, so the measurements below are what we made, not what was called for. If I were to make another batch, I’d halve the amount of chiles in adobo and up the molasses, for a sweeter, smokier, more Kansas City-style sauce.

HOMEMADE BARBECUE SAUCE

Ingredients:

. 1 tablespoon canola oil

. 2 cloves garlic, minced

. Half of one red onion, diced

. 1 cup ketchup

. 1/3 cup molasses

. 1/3 cup packed brown sugar

. 4 tablespoons minced chipotle peppers in adobo sauce

. 4 tablespoons balsamic vinegar

. 1 and 1/5 tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce

. 1 shot good quality bourbon, like Woodford Reserve

Instructions:

1. Pre-chop everything before you get started. Once all items are chopped, heat the oil in a saucepan over medium-low heat.

2. Once the oil is hot, add the garlic and onions and cook for five minutes, stirring, being careful not to burn them. After five minutes, reduce the heat to low.

3. Add the ketchup, molasses, brown sugar, chipotle peppers, vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, bourbon and stir. Allow to simmer for 20 minutes. Taste after simmering and add whatever ingredient it needs.

4. Once you are satisfied with the taste, throw the whole mess into a food processor and puree. I do not care for chunky sauce, so this was an important added step.

5. Bottle and chill until needed.

Friday Scraps

{From last week’s trip to Telluride, Colo.}

. Old book porn.

. Manly chandeliers! Mandeliers, if you will.

. Surprising facts about toddlers. If you’re into that kind of thing.

. Thinking about buying a crock pot this weekend so that I can make this. Right? Right.

Happy weekend, young people! We are all about pizza dates, yoga, and baking cookies around these parts. Have a good one. And if you have a cookie craving later, you know where to go.

 

Recipe for Fall

Even though San Francisco is just now getting into our nice weather – allegedly, though the fog out my window is all, “Summer who? Screw you and the surfboard you rode in on! I am FOG and I don’t believe in seasons, I only believe in mySELF!” (who knew Fog was such a jerk?) (also, who knew I could use so many different pieces of punctuation in one sentence?) – I am dreaming of Fall.

Something about Fall makes me want to snuggle up in a red jacket (always red – why is that?) and roast marshmallows by the campfire with dear friends. All of which I get to do in a few shorts weeks!

Here’s to red jackets, spending time in nature, transition, a new season, cold beer, and the best season of the year.

PS – an awesome campfire playlist to set the tone at cabins from Tahoe to Telluride.

Best Ever Pad Thai (that is not pad Thai but something else vaguely Asian)

Pad Thai and I have a special relationship. I love it, and yet, I cannot make it. I crave it constantly, and yet, the best pad Thai ever comes from Citrus Club. Never from my kitchen. We’ve tried, my little kitchen and I. My poor book club has suffered through my mediocre pad Thai efforts, as has my boyfriend. Finally, I gave up. And then I found this recipe, on Twin Tables, and my desire to attempt was reignited, not so much because I really wanted to get good at pad Thai (underachiever alert!) but because I was hungry and that peanut sauce sounded dang delicious.

My only problem – other than a history of bad pad Thai making – was that I lacked some crucial ingredients. Namely, peanut butter. And siracha. And sesame oil. So, like, several key ingredients. Yet, I attempted it anyway, because this is what hunger coupled with a lack of appropriate apprehension will do for you: make you so emboldened in the kitchen that you will throw things together in your food processor and blithely believe that it will all work out.

In this case, it actually did.

Instead of peanut butter, I used almond butter, which gave the sauce a sweeter, smoother taste. Not everyone would cotton to this substitution, but I loved it, and will only make peanut sauce with almond butter now. Also, I will always still refer to it as “peanut sauce” though it is clearly not. Mystifying.

My other key substitution was to use red chile powder in place of siracha. I love the kick of chile powder, which sneaks up on you, versus siracha which you can smell from a mile away and infuses everything it touches. It’s like the difference between being jumped in an alley late at night versus walking into a fight Sharks and Jets style, where you know exactly what you’re getting yourself into. Personally, I prefer the element of surprise that chile powder brings to the back alley. Also, I didn’t have any siracha.

So, with all of these things in mind, you are thusly thinking that this recipe will be for pad Thai, since that’s what it says up top. Nay, friends. This recipe is for something else. Something akin to noodles and peanut sauce, and yet, it’s not peanut sauce (see above). It’s definitely not pad Thai (again, sorry) but it is most definitely delicious. You should make it. It’s a bit of an effort, but not without reward. That reward being, of course, that you get to shove this whole mess into your mouth as quickly as your little heart desires.

NOT PEANUT SAUCE WITH NOODLES, AKA, A DISH THAT IS VAGUELY ASIAN

Ingredients:

Not-Peanut Sauce

. 1/2 cup of almond butter

. 1/2 cup of soy sauce

. 4 cloves of garlic, chopped

. 1/4 cup of honey

. 2 tablespoons of rice vinegar

. 1 tablespoon of red chile powder

. 1 tablespoon of chopped fresh ginger

. 1 lime, juiced

Noodles and Protein

. 1-2 chicken breasts OR 1 cup of peeled shrimp, or any protein you’d like

. 1 packet of wide rice noodles (I used Annie Chun’s)

. 1/2 cup carrots, cut in matchsticks

. 1/4 cup scallions

. 1/2 cup roasted peanuts and a small bunch of cilantro, for garnish

Instructions:

1. Cook the rice noodles according to packet instructions.

2. While noodles are cooking, grate ginger, chop carrots, and measure out sauce ingredients. Put all the sauce ingredients into the food processor and blend until smooth. It will froth slightly, and that’s good.

3. In a well-oiled skillet, cook your protein to your desired level of doneness. I lightly pan seared chicken with a bit of salt and pepp.

4. Once your protein has finished, add cooked noodles, carrots, scallions and then pour as much sauce as you’d like over the top, reserving 1/4 cup for serving. As soon as the noodles and carrots start to glaze and get that nice crunch on the outside, you’re done!

4. Pour remaining sauce over noodle bowls and garnish with fresh cilantro and peanuts over the top. If you don’t have cilantro (because guess who didn’t? That’s right) fresh basil also tastes great.

Friday Scraps

{View from the Top of the Mark}

. I want to age this gracefully - and happily!

. Brilliant gift wrap idea.

. How to de-stress in only six minutes.

. I’ll take a wolf, thanks. But not a woof.

. Cracking up because a) I adore Mr. Rogers (well documented fact, people) and because b) I’ve done this, and yes, it looks almost exactly like this.

What’s on the schedge this weekend friends? I’m partaking in some date night, some pool sitting, and starting to think about packing for Vegas! Yahoo!